It's happened to the best of us. Well, in this case only to us males. Landing on the top tube, futbol player blocking a kick, and of course the over-energetic rugrat you're trying to hug. Our testicles get a beating throughout our lives. For some its just an accident , but for others its a bulls eyes.
Growing up with Big Al and Stack, our crotches were the equivalent of that to the nuclear testing grounds in Nevada. Wrestling against a person that is twice your size and weight, wouldn't you go for the plums? Very affective when the person doubles over and starts squirming around the ground. Not to mention the automatic reaction of the hands grabbing the ping pongs that are temporarily crawled up in the stomach.
Then there is the worst kind of attacks, the hidden clandestine warfare. Just like a sniper waiting for the enemy to be in its most relaxed state. Out of nowhere the excrutiating pain of a coin nicking the right berry. This pain is not like the one getting kicked hard or a baseball bat swinging around with a double homerun , but this agonizing pain is sharp. You are still able to function but wondering what had happen. In many cases it was Shortstack with a pocket full of change. Let it be during lunchtime at school or at the bus stop waiting to go home. The precision of his flicks and the accuracy of the little penny or dime slicing through the air, directly colliding with the outside of my right nut is pure talent. I give your props.
Us three have known each other for years. Shortstack since I was 7 and Big Perm since I was 9. Due to rather ridiculous circumstances , we lost Biggie for 4 years. That left Stickity and I on our own for our graduation, experiences with cars, roadtrips, turning 21, and of course the groin assaults. Like all Disney stories, Big Worm came back to our lives happily. And for those 4 years of M.I.A , it is our duty as friends to bring you back to even terms.
With cupchecks and flying debris with love , welcome back Alex Nash !
Pic: 3/17/2006 - watching the NCAA Tourney in my room. Cupcheck administered by Stizle, pic by Fuzzy.
1 comment:
If Stakk were a Greek God, his name would be "Testiclees," and marble statues in his likeness would grace the arid landscape. Men with testicular elephantitus would be demi-gods, who would be allowed to walk freely enjoying the fruits of any woman they choose. Unless, of course, someone flings a drachma at their bean-bag. Then it's all about the screaming, and the panting, and "ooooohhhh" and the "ahhhhh."
Cap'n Chris
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